Its been a while since my last post, I can’t believe its almost Christmas.
Since the news of my girlfriend being diagnosed with cancer, life has seemed to whizz by really quickly. I felt it was fitting that I post today, given that I spoke to her this morning and found out that her PET scans were all clear! “Disease free!” were her first words to me, through the foggy haze of a sleep in, I knew knew it was going to be a good day.
She will be having chemo until February just to be sure they really zap it, but theres a light at the end of the tunnel now, hopefully making her next few treatments a little easier.
Needless to say, that Christmas feels as though it has come a little earlier this year.
Last week she arrived in HK for a visit; a 5 day trip to get away for a little bit and enjoy herself. It sounds cliche but we spent the week eating good food, laughing, having a dance at Clockenflap, ogling Sting at his Back to Bass concert, devouring wontons in Wan Chai, watching (but not really watching) the rugby, over-ordering at yum cha, annoying JP with our constant ‘yabbing’ (in his words) and sharing Crunchies on the couch.
It was so nice to enjoy some one-on-one time with her before she went in to get her results the following week (today). I love it when she comes to visit, but this time i loved it even more. Its shitty, but sometimes when you have a speed bump (thats all it was ever allowed to be) like a cancer diagnosis it makes you value people and relationships more. It shouldnt be the case…but unfortunately thats just how it goes. It quickly puts things in perspective and in many ways is a reminder that we’re not invincible and sweating the small stuff just makes you look like a fool.
Its funny, but the last few months I have found myself enjoying life a lot more. I have a greater sense of the things i value and treasure and feel more connected with those i love.
Typically, cancer is a revolting word and has the potential to destroy lives, however, in my case (albeit extremely difficult watching my mate endure months of endless pain and discomfort, uncertainty and days of pure misery) I feel like it could have been a blessing in disguise.
She has been forced to slow down and take each day as it comes (something she wasnt very good at before), people have felt compelled to come out of the shadows and show her what she means to them, offering support and love.
Myself and others have been given some perspective, Im able to pass off the menial trivialities of life and focus on the stuff that makes a difference; family, friends, happiness and health. I actually find myself concentrating on my breathing more, taking time to shoot the breeze, checking out where i am and enjoying it.
I was a slave to worrying about tomorrow, missing opportunities that were right in front of me because i was too concerned about next week. It’s easy for me to say this because i havent been the pin cushion for the last three months, putting my life on hold and holding my breath until scan day, but i thank cancer for shifting my priorities from tomorrow to today and allowing me an opportunity to show my friend the love and compassion that I have always had for her but never been very good at expressing.
She has chemo again today. After news like that, im not sure i can picture her sitting still and being calm and patient, im sure she cant wait to get out of there and raise her glass to the champagne coloured light at the end of the tunnel. But i hope she can see the forest for the trees today, and realise that shes lucky and that while February seems a mile off – it will come sooner than she realises. The glass is finally half full and i hope she takes a big gulp of that positivity and marches on through the next few months with a case of bubbles waiting for her at the end.
Love you Doonda. xxx