How’s your backhand?

Gotta love the Chinese and their remarkable ability to cut you down to size, with a huge smile and mouth full of butter.
On arrival at work this morning I was greeted with my first (of many) back handed compliments for the day.
To preface this, I must tell you that I currently have a nice little mountain of hormones on my cheek, otherwise known as a common garden variety pimple.
“oh E, what a sexy sexy mole on your face-did you draw?”
No, I did not ‘draw’. Are you kidding me?
I can understand something like that coming from the girl that canyons her eyebrows but not the bird that wears socks and crocs. Jeez.
Since then I have received compliments a plenty on my sexy mole. I might bite the next person that looks at it.
Other backhanded pleasantries since arriving in hk have included various pointers on fashion and my hair, my lunch choices and my extra curricular activities, namely my exercise regime.
Standing at the elevator in my gym gear after work one evening welcomed this delightful exchange;
“oh E, you workout?”
“when I can be bothered!” (insert obligatory chuckle)
“oh-maybe eat less dinner then?!” she says looking me up and down with an air of disgust.
Beat it you skinny spinster. I’m going home to someone that loves me and my ‘curves’ and your going home to your cats.
Note to self: work on quick witted come backs to combat future one liner nasties from coworkers.

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