Upon arriving at work this morning, I look across from my desk to see that Bozo is wearing a Michael Jackson Face Mask.
After a few seconds, I realize that I have subconsciously been holding my breath as my computer warms up.
Before I pass out – I take a breath (a very small one though) and try to mask my face as much as possible from the potential escapee fumes!
As a prelude to this reaction, I should have mentioned that Bird flu is currently ‘in the air’ in HK and having begun a new job and holidays around the corner, the last thing I want is to be growing a beak.
I realize just how visibly nervous I am when my Cheetos asks me if I am ok after I drop the entire contents of my handbag on the floor. “Chill out butter fingers” I mutter, “She’s taken the right measures to protect us from her ailment…relax”.
Nevertheless, I still find myself ducking for cover every time she coughs. “GO HOME!” I think to myself, “all your work is online anyway…why can’t you infect your 100 cats instead of your fellow colleagues! WHERE DO I BUY A BLOODY MASK?!”
Meanwhile, the otherwise quiet office is starting to stir. A sobbing noise is growing louder and louder and everyone is looking around trying to determine where it is coming from. I work out that the relentless blubbering is coming from underneath the desk behind me. Head Chef is sitting cross legged under her desk with her pillow (that resembles a fried fish) tucked under her arms.
I am the last one to work out why she is crying because the gossiping has been conducted 110% in Cantonese. Out of frustration I tap my cubicle buddy on the shoulder and ask her what is going on, in my best ‘I don’t really care, I’m just confused’ kind of voice. I am informed that the team embarked on a charity walk-a-thon on Sunday where photos were taken. These photos are now on one of our websites and she is so mortified that she has been reduced to tears.
HOLY COW. I am trying so hard to hide my amazed/shocked/”WTF” expression but I’m sure they have worked out how unimpressed I am. I can’t help it.
After the sobbing becomes seemingly uncontrollable, Head Chef decides it’s all too much and makes the bolt to the bathroom. I feel I should remind her to take the toilet paper with her…but it’s too late. She’s GONE.